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1 year since we came home

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My cheeky monkey

April is developing so quickly at the moment and it is a joy to watch.  I can’t help feeling ‘Preemie Proud’ of my little girl, who brings a smile to my face every day.  Every parent feels proud of their child as they grow and develop, but preemie proud is a little different.  It’s thinking about the journey she has come on, how small she was, how she has learnt to breathe and feed and how well she continues to develop and grow.

I sometimes feel stupid when I look at other babies and say to their mums ‘wow they’re just amazing‘ – babies truly are and it is incredible how they just learn.  We could have potentially had lots of problems with April being born 10 weeks early.  I see so many posts and articles about how premature babies have complications in growth and development and feel truly blessed that April has had relitively few health complications since she was born.

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Using me as a climbing frame

I often feel sad that April will probably be my own child; as I always hoped for 2 or 3 children. I may never experience what it is like to have a term baby, a happy birth or the waddle of the third trimester.  However, I count my lucky stars every day that I have a beautiful step daughter.  I also remind myself of people who don’t get the opportunity to have children for one reason or another and I feel thankful every day for my little miracle.

April is coming on leaps and bounds.  She is very playful and rather cheeky (wonder who she gets that ioff!?) She is like my little shadow and follows me from room to room – often taking a detour to try and climb the stairs eeekkkk! She is pulling herself up on everything and even stood this morning without holding on to anything.  Her little legs are still like bambi, but are getting stronger all the time.  I don’t think it’ll be long before she takes her first proper steps…then I’m sure it’ll get even tougher!

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April loves music!

April is also really interactive.  Generally she likes to use me as a climbing frame, she loves blowing kisses to Daddy, waving goodbye and giving kisses and cuddles.  Her favourite game is also hide and seek.

This weekend it will be 1 year since we came home from hospital.  The journey has been long and at times I’ve felt really down about what happened to us.  however, now this first year is over I feel more reflective and can move on more.  Of course we still have trips to the hospital every 4 months and may encounter problems as April gets older and begins school, but I feel the wrost is certainly behind us and able to reflect on things in a differnt way.  I’m sure it will always haunt me and I’ll have my moments when the tears will come when I get flashbacks or remember things out of the blue, but all this is softened when April says ‘Mama’ and gives me a kiss.

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Me and my little love

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